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Looking Back and Looking Ahead – Good things are happening!


My Journey So far…

My journey so far...The way we humans envision time is a funny thing.

When I start looking back I am often surprised at how much, or how little time has actually passed.

And, if you will pardon a wee bit of bluntness, I’m often surprised by the huge amount of CRAP that I’ve been through!

No wonder my face has some tread marks on it because life done run me over! Several times!

In the colorful vernacular of present times: Life be like — “Boy you done been Bitch Slapped!”

Life is getting Better! Way Better!

2016 is going to be a FABULOUS yearIf things keep going on their current trajectory, then 2016 is going to be an amazing, stupendous, exciting, fabulous year!

It may, indeed turn out to be the best year of my entire life.

Wow!

The truly amazing thing is that my focus has shifted.

I’m no longer focused on the “here and now” locked permanently into “survival mode;” I find that I am only looking “back” to measure how far I’ve come and/or to explain to friends when they ask me “where have you been hiding?”

My focus is firmly pointed toward the future.  A quick rundown of the exciting things that are happening:

  • I’m loosing weight! Yay!
    ..
  • As of this morning I weigh 294.6 — that is a total of 40.4 lbs lost from my highest weight of 335 lbs.
    ..
  • My health is improving on almost a daily basis. My stamina is up. I’m moving more.
    ..
  • I’ve started dancing again!
    • I am back in the studio practicing.
    • I’ve started teaching line dance again — lots of stuff happening there; more on that later in this post.
    • I’ve started an Instructor Training program at a local studio and as soon as I finish that program I’ll be put on staff teaching couples dancing, both Ballroom and Country — THIS IS FRIGGIN’ HUGE!
    • I’ve been put on staff at one dance event already for the coming dance year, 2016, and I’m likely to be put on staff at several others!
    • I’m planning on competing this year in Line Dance!
    • I’m beginning to choreograph line dances and will be competing in Line Dance Choreography this year.

Things are turning around.  But to understand just how wonderful and much of a positive change these and other events and happenings in my life are, I have to go back in time and fill you in on how awful things were… 

Long time readers of my blog will recognize bits and pieces of the story but you’ve probably not seen it laid out so concisely in one spot.

For my new readers, new “dance friends” I just made at Dallas Dance and at Worlds, and for my friends with whom I only recently reconnected…

…in the words of Bette Davis “Fasten your seat belts...”

And, uhmmm… you might want to hit “pause” and go grab a cup of coffee or soda and some snacks.

I never intend for my blog posts to be long. Stop laughing!  It is true!  I really do try to make them short, but somehow…  sigh

Oh, well, it may be long, but it is without a doubt entertaining…and informative… Now git…go grab that beverage…

…back?  Got your soda?  Cool… here we go:

The date my life changed…for the worse

Looking back on one’s life, even on recent events, is much like using a crystal ball to peer into the future: the images are very VERY foggy!

Some events are Read the rest of this entry

Soooooooooo close! 300.8 lbs!


This is going to be the week!

snoopy_happy_danceJust a very quick post to share some good news.  I just got off the scale and for the FIRST TIME in ages my weight has dropped below 301 lbs!!!

Yay!

Yippee!

Doing a “happy dance” in my chair as I type…which is quite the feat of dexterity!

Woot!

Uh-huh…uh-huh…uh-huh!

So, given that my weight is 300.8 lbs today and given that for the past few days it has been dropping by a few tenth’s of a pound every day, it is EXTREMELY LIKELY that by the end of the week I’ll be below 300 lbs.  For the first time in almost two years.  Yay!

Light a candle and send positive energy my way…

Keep me in your thoughts…

…and watch for a longer post later this week about my first week back in the dance studio.  Yes, it is finally happening.  I’m dancing again.

Woot!

See ya on the dance floor!

 

My shortest post ever… “I’m on a Positive Feedback Loop”


In completely random order…

really_yay_lolcatsOK, folks this is going to look more like a “Facebook” or “Twitter” post than one of my usual blog posts…

BUT…  Sqqqqeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!   I am feeling AWESOME at the moment and I just had to share

The past couple / three weeks have seen some NOTICEABLE improvements in my health and fitness.  A few months ago I felt as if I had hit the very bottom; I just didn’t see how it could get any worse.

Now, a few months further along, I think I was right.  That was the “bottom” — why?  I’m glad you asked.  Because since then things have been getting better, a little at a time.  A TEENY tiny LITTLE itty bitty bit at a time, but better.

So, in no particular order, these are the things that I’m happy about this morning:

  • My weight on the scale this morning was 300.6 lbs.  OMG!!! OMG!!! OMG!!!!!  Sooooooooooooooooo close to being under 300lbs!  I can almost TASTE it!
  • I went shopping at Kroger this week.  Which is a HUGE step.  I’ve been shopping at this tiny grocery mart called “Braums” for the bulk of my food.  Because frankly I didn’t have the strength or stamina to go shopping at a large grocery store — the distance I had to cover to do my shopping was more than I had the strength to do.  Literally.  No exageration.  But this week I shopped at Kroger, AND I was able to carry ALL of the groceries up the stairs without having to ask my room mate for help!  Yay!
  • I did a two loads of laundry on Saturday.  And it wasn’t until I was done that I realized that it wasn’t an ordeal.  Which is FRIGGIN’ AMAZING!
  • I have met my Out of Pocket Maximum with my insurance for the year, which means that for the rest of the year everything is covered at 100%  Yay!  Even doctor’s visits copays and Rx copays are all zero!  Yay!
  • Did I mention that my weight was 300.6 lbs?
  • I sold my bed!  Yay!  That means that I no longer have to pay $29 a month for a storage unit.  Yay!
  • And the money from the bed ($150) covered the gap between my monthly pension and the amount I need to pay bills.  Now all I need to earn is money for food for the 2nd half of the month.  Yay!
  • I did a chart for my doctor — I have an appointment tomorrow morning (Tue Oct 6).  My blood glucose numbers are on a downward trajectory which means that the diabetes medication is doing its job.  I think it will do an even better job once I start taking it on a completely regular schedule. I sometimes forget to take the night-time dose.  (My bad.)  My doctor is going to give me a “Mom Look” tomorrow when I see her.  But she’ll give me a hug for loosing more weight!  😀
    • Avg for Last two weeks: 125
    • Avg for Last four weeks: 126
    • Avg for Last Last eight weeks: 127
    • Avg for Last twelve weeks: 130
    • Avg for Sept: 126
    • Avg for Aug: 128
    • Avg for July: 137
  • And finally.  This is the week.  Come hell or high water, I am going to get to the dance studio three times this week!  Well, technically, I’m not going to a “dance studio” — For me my “dance studio” is actually 24 Hour Fitness aerobics room, butcha know what I mean..  🙂

See ya on the dance floor!

I Wish I Could Stop


Depression (CC)I’m sharing this post because, well, it hits very close to home for me.

I’ve been following David’s blog for a while now and I’ve admired how he’s managed to succeed and do what I’m trying to do. I never new until this post that he too suffers from bouts of depression.

Right now, I’m in the midst of one of those bouts myself. Think “Le Brea Tar Pits” and you kinda get the idea about where I’m at right now.

When this appeared in my inbox today, I don’t know what made me click on it. There’s nothing in the title that would lead me to think that the article speaks to being depressed and the never ending battle of fighting for fitness and NOT being depressed… …but click on it I did.

I’m so glad I did. It is nice to know I’m not alone. And that success is possible. And that even when you’ve “made it” that you’ll always have to “keep” making it.

Bravo David! And thank you. I’m not in the fight alone. Knowing that means a lot. Especially now.

And if Uhmmm… someone could maybe throw me a rope…  the tar is kinda up to my nose and if you’d tell me how to get this tar out of my clothes, I’d appreciate it.

Keep It Up, David!

Isn’t depression the best? I was first diagnosed with major depressive disorder after a scary hospitalization when I was a teenager, and depression has been a visitor that I suspect will come  a-knockin’ every so often for the rest of my life.

Depression has been a recent house guest. I’m getting over a funk that I’ve been in for the past couple weeks. It might be some post-holiday blues, perhaps, and it could be related to the bruised or cracked rib that I’ve been healing from. Whatever the cause, it held on to me for a good solid two weeks, and it planted a thought in my head that got stuck there. I kept on thinking these five words over and over again, like a song you can’t shake:

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